Y’all this finna be my new spam page. I quite literally have deleted or moved away from most if not all of my social media. A rebranding of sorts if you will. Today is one of my best homies birthdays (Happy birthday Martian!) and instead of having fun with him I’m here in a room with someone who I thought I knew but quite frankly I know nothing about. I used to think I was in love but as an Aries I sorta kinda fall in love fast anyways 😅. I’m condensing a really fucked up roller coaster of a story into an obvious spam post to put my emotions into something tangible. Something I can look at objectively. I’m not as apprehensive as I once was to do things by myself. I used to look for love in other people. I have come to realize that with time that no one really has anybody; we all just play along in a plethora of fantasy’s pretending. Or maybe I’m just an premenstral 🤣💀. Anywho, one of my biggest obstacles is myself. I choose myself this time. Not a man. Not my circumstance, and not drugs. I choose Tolu because she deserves to be chosen. I don’t think I’ve ever chosen myself before… I heard you lose people when you choose yourself. I was always afraid to lose someone. I have abandonment issues like no ones business but I keep it hidden well on the surface. But I do not believe there is anyone here yet that is not worth losing for myself. It might sound selfish but it feels damn good. I know people love me but sometimes I feel the opposite. Ugh… I’m just ranting now with no real talking points. This felt good tho. Thanks tumblr. Good shit.
